Courtney Cole's delightful book, "Confessions of an Alli Cat" is the tale of Allison Lancaster's journey back into the dating world after kicking her sleazy ex-husband to the curb. Alli has an interesting number of people in her life to help her on this journey and one of them is outrageous best friend, Sara. Sara is stopping in today to share with you her tips for help your BFF plan the most EPIC wedding ever!
Hey sexy cougars!
Since I just finished planning Alli's wedding (I can't let her hear me say that. The sweet lil' thing thinks that she actually planned it. Isn't that cute?), I thought I'd pitch in here and share a few things with you....helpful things that you might find useful in case you ever find yourself in the same position as me. (Which is, planning a wedding almost single-handedly, while allowing the bride to think she's doing it).
First, always remember that God invented BFF's for a reason. We exist to push the boundaries of our friend, to make her do things that she wouldn't normally do, but definitely for her own good. For example, she should always try the spray tan when she is pasty white. I don't care if it is only three days before her wedding luncheon. Grow a set and a do it! When she's got a warm glow at her wedding luncheon instead of scaring everyone with her pasty white legs, she'll thank you. Unless she spray tan gets messed up and goes on three shades too dark. But what are the odds of that happening? That particular thing is out of your control and you should never be held accountable for it.
Second, never, under any circumstances when helping address invitations, accidentally invite the ex-husband. I have no idea how that happened. But take it from me, it's a no-no.
Also, and this is equally important. If your BFF has an assistant at work, use her. She knows your BFF almost as well as you do-- so tap into that knowledge so that you can avoid potentially embarrassing situations. Like, for instance, she might help you remember that the bride is allergic to shellfish. That's just a random example...I'm not saying it happened to me. But I'm not saying that it didn't happen, either.
Always have a sex toy party. This is essential and the bride will probably thank you for it. Unless you accidentally post pictures of the bride holding a giant sextoy to Facebook. She won't thank you for that. (In my defense, I was trying to text the picture to Alex. Not post to Facebook. Buttons on your phone get confusing after four Sex on the Beaches.)
Okay, this is important. Always throw an EPIC bachelorette party. It must be EPIC and it is your responsibility to make it so. I suggest a mechanical penis. By mechanical penis, I mean a giant pink mechanical bull that is shaped like a penis. Then, you must somehow ensure that your BFF keeps her skinny ass on the penis and doesn't fall off and hurt herself. I don't know how Alli makes it through life without my help, honestly.Lastly, and this is probably the most important of all. If your BFF ever dated her fiancee's son, never, under any circumstances, allow that fact to slip out, even after you've had two bottles of wine. Trust me. It's just something you don't want to have happen. Just trust me.
That ought to do it. If you follow these helpful guidelines in the event you're ever planning your BFF's wedding celebration, you should be just fine. You're welcome. :) Have a great New Year, Cougars!
Courtney Cole is a novelist who lives near Lake Michigan. Her favorite place in the world is on the shore with her toes in the water. Although, since she is deathly afraid of sea gulls, it makes days at the beach interesting.
Courtney is the author of several YA series (The Paradise Diaries, The Bloodstone Saga and The Moonstone Saga) as well as a couple adult series (The Cougar Chronicles and The Minaldi Legacy). Her next project is a Women’s Contemporary Romance titled If You Stay, which will release on February 12, 2013.
To learn more about Courtney, visit her website, www.courtneycolewrites.com
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