Courtney Cole's delightful book, "Confessions of an Alli Cat" is the tale of Allison Lancaster's journey back into the dating world after kicking her sleazy ex-husband to the curb. Alli has an interesting number of people in her life to help her on this journey and one of them is outrageous best friend, Sara. Sara is stopping in today to share with you her tips for help your BFF plan the most EPIC wedding ever!
----------------
Hey sexy cougars!
Since
I just finished planning Alli's wedding (I can't let her hear me say
that. The sweet lil' thing thinks that she actually planned it. Isn't
that cute?), I thought I'd pitch in here and share a few things with
you....helpful things that you might find useful in case you ever find
yourself in the same position as me. (Which is, planning a wedding
almost single-handedly, while allowing the bride to think she's doing
it).
First,
always remember that God invented BFF's for a reason. We exist to push
the boundaries of our friend, to make her do things that she wouldn't
normally do, but definitely for her own good. For example, she should
always try the spray tan when she is pasty white. I don't care if it is
only three days before her wedding luncheon. Grow a set and a do it!
When she's got a warm glow at her wedding luncheon instead of scaring
everyone with her pasty white legs, she'll thank you. Unless she spray
tan gets messed up and goes on three shades too dark. But what are the
odds of that happening? That particular thing is out of your control
and you should never be held accountable for it.
Second,
never, under any circumstances when helping address invitations,
accidentally invite the ex-husband. I have no idea how that happened.
But take it from me, it's a no-no.
Also,
and this is equally important. If your BFF has an assistant at work,
use her. She knows your BFF almost as well as you do-- so tap into that
knowledge so that you can avoid potentially embarrassing situations.
Like, for instance, she might help you remember that the bride is
allergic to shellfish. That's just a random example...I'm not saying it
happened to me. But I'm not saying that it didn't happen, either.
Always
have a sex toy party. This is essential and the bride will probably
thank you for it. Unless you accidentally post pictures of the bride
holding a giant sextoy to Facebook. She won't thank you for that. (In
my defense, I was trying to text the picture to Alex. Not post to
Facebook. Buttons on your phone get confusing after four Sex on the
Beaches.)
Okay,
this is important. Always throw an EPIC bachelorette party. It must
be EPIC and it is your responsibility to make it so. I suggest a
mechanical penis. By mechanical penis, I mean a giant pink mechanical
bull that is shaped like a penis. Then, you must somehow ensure that
your BFF keeps her skinny ass on the penis and doesn't fall off and hurt
herself. I don't know how Alli makes it through life without my help,
honestly.
Lastly, and this is
probably the most important of all. If your BFF ever dated her
fiancee's son, never, under any circumstances, allow that fact to slip
out, even after you've had two bottles of wine. Trust me. It's just
something you don't want to have happen. Just trust me. That ought to do it. If you follow these helpful guidelines in the event you're ever planning your BFF's wedding celebration, you should be just fine. You're welcome. :) Have a great New Year, Cougars!
------------------
Author Bio:
Courtney
Cole is a novelist who lives near Lake Michigan. Her favorite place in
the world is on the shore with her toes in the water. Although, since
she is deathly afraid of sea gulls, it makes days at the beach
interesting.
Courtney
is the author of several YA series (The Paradise Diaries, The
Bloodstone Saga and The Moonstone Saga) as well as a couple adult series
(The Cougar Chronicles and The Minaldi Legacy). Her next project is a
Women’s Contemporary Romance titled If You Stay, which will release on
February 12, 2013.
Connect with Courtney!
Follow me on Twitter!
Friend me on Facebook!
Find me on Goodreads!
Buy the Book!
Ah Sara - she is hilarious!
ReplyDelete